still looking good, still having fun ...
a double childhood bereavement ...
My 21 year old sister was killed in a road accident when I was 14 and a year later my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She died when I was just 17 and so in less than 3 years I'd lost the entire female side of my family.
Having been given this premature and lifelong membership to an exclusive bereavement club that I didn't want to belong to, it meant that, at 17, my life's journey had taken a sharp detour from it's original path before I'd really had a chance to taste it's potential.
It will hurt forever and I can still cry for them (and do sometimes!) but a few years ago I realised that I could spend the rest of my life looking backwards and wishing for the family I should have had, but that would mean not getting on and appreciating the life I had now. So, with the occasional wobble from time to time, for the most part I get on with it and make the most of what I have!
It's been a rocky road to travel along but with a hefty dose of bloody-mindedness, efficient and determined mental boxing up, good friends, an enthusiasm for life and a lot of laughing, I moreorless achieve it most of the time!
Kathryn x
Having been given this premature and lifelong membership to an exclusive bereavement club that I didn't want to belong to, it meant that, at 17, my life's journey had taken a sharp detour from it's original path before I'd really had a chance to taste it's potential.
It will hurt forever and I can still cry for them (and do sometimes!) but a few years ago I realised that I could spend the rest of my life looking backwards and wishing for the family I should have had, but that would mean not getting on and appreciating the life I had now. So, with the occasional wobble from time to time, for the most part I get on with it and make the most of what I have!
It's been a rocky road to travel along but with a hefty dose of bloody-mindedness, efficient and determined mental boxing up, good friends, an enthusiasm for life and a lot of laughing, I moreorless achieve it most of the time!
Kathryn x
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by WomansGarden on -
My sister lost her son to Ewings Sarcoma (rare cancer) when he was 19. It has been 2 years since his death, but I believe the loss has drove her to insanity. I try to explain to her and my other sister that he would not have wanted them to waste so much precious time in depression, but they can not hear my words yet. I still cry for him a few times a week, but I know he is there in my memory any time I want to talk to him.
I am sorry to hear of your sister and mother. Yes, I believe that they would want you to have fun and be happy with the life you have been given.
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Permalink Reply by Kathryn on -
Thank you for your kind thoughts. I am so sorry to hear of your family's troubles ... life can be so cruel sometimes. Bereavement is such a long old journey that there is no quick fix ... the pain never ever heals but time does make day to day living easier to bear.
My best wishes to you and your family for the future.
Kathryn x
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Permalink Reply by Jennifer on -
My mum died 2 weeks before my 12th birthday, my dad died 15 months later & then his sister died 18 months later. All from different causes but it took away my childhood.
"Motherless Daughters" by Hope Edelman is a wonderful resourse if you've not already read it (((((HUGS)))))
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Permalink Reply by Kathryn on
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Hi Jennifer
I'm so sorry for your losses. Childhood bereavement puts you on a different life path before you've even had a chance to see what life could have in store for you. Saying that it has made me very strong and able to cope with most things that life throws at me but I'd rather prefer to have a go at having an easy life for a while if I had a choice!!!
I will definitely check out the Hope Edelman book as it looks very interesting ... every little helps!
With best wishes
Kathryn x
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